President Joe Biden and Senate Democrats are making judicial confirmations the ultimate political marathon, leaving Donald Trump and his MAGA loyalists gasping for air—and coherence. While Biden and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer go full throttle to confirm federal judges, Trump is busy touring SpaceX, hanging out at UFC events, and possibly considering a new line of Big Mac endorsements. Let’s unpack this political circus.
Biden’s Judges: Outmaneuvering Trump One Court at a Time
While Trump was busy yelling into the void about “radical left judges,” Biden had already solidified 216 (and counting!) judicial confirmations. That’s about 25% of all federal judges—an achievement Trump could only dream of in between McDonald’s runs. Senate Democrats, armed with Chuck Schumer’s unwavering resolve and enough coffee to fuel a NASA launch, are plowing through confirmations like a snowplow in January.
Schumer’s strategy? Work late into the night, weekends, and maybe even drag senators out of their Thanksgiving dinners if it means getting these judges through. Trump, meanwhile, continues to misunderstand basic civics, claiming Biden is “stacking the courts.” Fun fact: confirming judges while your party controls the Senate is literally how the system works.
GOP Senators: Absentee Legislators or SpaceX Fanboys?
While Biden’s team hustled, several Republican senators—Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and J.D. Vance among them—were busy attending Trump’s latest propaganda event with Elon Musk at SpaceX. The same Musk who keeps insisting on solving traffic by building tunnels. Instead of blocking Biden’s judicial picks, these senators prioritized photo ops over fulfilling their Senate duties.
The result? A historic acceleration of Biden-appointed judges, including lifetime appointments that will impact judicial decisions for decades. Bravo, GOP. Your “team-building exercise” at SpaceX might be the most expensive field trip in Senate history.
MAGA Meltdown: The Blame Game Olympics
Watching MAGA influencers and Trump loyalists react to Biden’s judicial wins is like binge-watching a reality show where everyone refuses to read the rules. J.D. Vance, Trump’s VP-elect and an apparent connoisseur of insults, called a GOP critic a “mouth-breathing imbecile.” Classy. Meanwhile, right-wing pundits like Mike Davis, self-proclaimed “viceroy of MAGA,” threw tantrums on Steve Bannon’s podcast, blaming Senate Republicans for Biden’s judicial success.
The irony? MAGA’s “show up to work” slogan sounds great—until you remember they didn’t. Turns out, yelling on podcasts and hosting SpaceX watch parties doesn’t stop judicial confirmations. Who knew?
Schumer: The Energizer Bunny of Judicial Confirmations
Chuck Schumer has turned the Senate into a judicial confirmation factory. Schumer isn’t just playing hardball; he’s playing “break-every-bone-in-your-body” ball. Late-night sessions, procedural votes, and a relentless focus on the endgame have left Republicans scrambling for excuses while Democrats rack up victories.
Even as Republicans attempt delay tactics, Schumer remains unfazed. “We’re staying late, confirming judges,” he declared, probably sipping his 10th cup of coffee. If there were an Olympic event for outworking opponents, Schumer would take gold.
Trump: Big Macs, UFC, and the Art of Losing
While Biden secures judicial appointments to shape the future of democracy, Trump continues to prioritize…well, everything but governance. Whether he’s at UFC events or overseeing fast-food-fueled interviews for hypothetical government roles, Trump seems oblivious to the actual game being played.
Meanwhile, the Democrats are ensuring that federal courts are staffed with judges who prioritize civil rights, voting rights, and consumer protections. And Trump? He’s busy perfecting the art of distraction, hoping no one notices Biden quietly reshaping the judiciary.
The Verdict: Democrats Play 4D Chess While MAGA Plays the Blame Game
As the clock ticks toward the end of the Democratic Senate majority, Biden and his team are maximizing every second to confirm judges who will serve as a bulwark for democracy. Republicans, caught flat-footed and distracted, have ceded this critical battleground.
So here we are: Biden working overtime while Trump watches from the sidelines, probably Googling “how to block judges after you’ve already lost.” The takeaway? Democracy might just have a fighting chance, thanks to a president who knows the power of persistence—and a GOP too distracted to stop him.
