In a political plot twist worthy of a daytime soap opera, Congress narrowly dodged a government shutdown by passing a last-minute funding bill. But, like any hastily wrapped holiday gift, it’s what’s missing that catches the eye. Let’s unwrap the omissions and their potential impacts, with a sprinkle of sarcasm and a dash of satire.
The Debt Ceiling Suspension: A Bridge Too Far
President-elect Donald Trump’s fervent wish to suspend the federal debt ceiling until 2027 was conspicuously absent from the final bill.bDespite his social media megaphone and the backing of his efficiency czar, Elon Musk, Congress decided that giving the national credit card an unlimited limit wasn’t the wisest move. This omission means we’ll continue the tradition of periodic debt ceiling dramas—because who doesn’t love a good fiscal cliffhanger?
This simple, natural trick turbocharges calorie burning 3X faster — without diets or exercise.
Lawmakers’ Pay Raise: Santa’s Late Delivery
The proposed pay raise for members of Congress was left on the cutting room floor. Apparently, the idea of increasing salaries for lawmakers didn’t sit well when the average American is juggling inflation and holiday expenses. So, our elected officials will have to make do with their current six-figure incomes—thoughts and prayers during these tough times.
Children’s Cancer Research Funding: The Grinch’s Touch
Funding earmarked for childhood cancer research was also omitted.bBecause, clearly, there are more pressing issues than supporting groundbreaking research to save children’s lives. Perhaps next time, science.
This simple, natural trick turbocharges calorie burning 3X faster — without diets or exercise.
Pharmacy Benefit Manager Reforms: The Prescription Unfilled
Reforms targeting pharmacy benefit managers (PBMs) didn’t make the final cut. These middlemen will continue their opaque pricing strategies, much to the chagrin of anyone who has ever tried to decipher a medical bill. Transparency in drug pricing? Maybe next year.
Disaster Relief and Farmer Aid: The Chosen Ones
On the bright side, the bill includes $110 billion in disaster aid and financial relief for farmers. Natural disaster victims and farmers can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing they’re the lucky winners in this legislative lottery
The Impact: Kicking the Can Down the Road
By sidestepping the debt ceiling issue and other significant reforms, Congress has set the stage for future fiscal showdowns. The absence of funding for critical areas like children’s health research and drug pricing transparency suggests that some priorities are more negotiable than others. But hey, at least the government lights will stay on—until March, when we can all look forward to another episode of “Shutdown Showdown.”
In conclusion, while the immediate crisis has been averted, the omissions in this funding bill highlight a legislative tendency to prioritize short-term fixes over long-term solutions. But why solve problems today when you can procrastinate until tomorrow?
