Executive Order on Gender-Affirming Health Care: Red, White, and Regulate
Welcome back to the world of the executive order, where policy takes a 24-hour turnaround, especially when it’s about reining in gender-affirming health care. Trump plans to, as he puts it, “revoke Biden’s cruel policies,” apparently seeing healthcare decisions as best left to executive pens rather than medical professionals. Forget the debate – let’s just sign off on stopping all federal funding for gender-affirming care. Medicare, TRICARE, and other programs can prepare for a new era of “cease and desist.”
And just to make it stick, Trump wants a ban on federal recognition of any gender not “assigned at birth.” The idea here is simple: the fewer checkboxes, the simpler the forms, right? This push to box people back into birth genders brings to mind the good ol’ days of one-size-fits-all, but in a very literal, legally binding sense.
Immigration: The Mass Deportation Derby
Trump’s immigration plan for “day one” reads like a contestant entry in the world’s largest logistics project. The aim? Deportation on an epic scale, targeting millions of undocumented migrants. The former president is ready to kick off the “largest deportation operation in American history,” and if you think that sounds extreme, you’re in good company. Even Texas Gov. Greg Abbott thinks it’s a “mountain to climb.” Imagine herding millions across state lines – and for anyone needing a visual, the scene evokes something akin to a nationwide game of reverse musical chairs.
But this plan isn’t just about scale; it’s about a message. The administration has even floated the idea of National Guard involvement to make this ambition real. JD Vance, now VP-elect, aims for a million deportations annually, bringing a price tag of roughly $88 billion. Economists have noted that if you think the national budget has holes now, just wait until we subtract a trillion or two from the GDP. But hey, what’s a little economic turbulence in the name of bold policy?
Tariffs: Making Friends Through Import Taxes
Welcome to the era of “tariffs big and small,” where international diplomacy gets boiled down to a simple principle: pay up, or else. Trump’s plan is to slap tariffs on any country that crosses a line he’s drawn, from Mexico to China. This “day one” agenda includes the possibility of a 25% tariff on Mexican imports, specifically if they don’t “stop the onslaught of criminals and drugs.” And as with all tariffs, the biggest losers might just be American consumers, who are bracing for prices on basic goods to skyrocket faster than you can say “inflation.”
This game of economic chicken doesn’t just hit consumers, though. It targets the international relationships that have allowed goods to flow freely – relationships that many experts warn could crash under the strain. The White House might want to dust off the emergency inflation playbook because if prices spike as projected, those “made in America” labels may come with some hefty sticker shock.
Drill, Baby, Drill: Energy Independence on a Time Crunch
Nothing says energy independence quite like drilling. Trump has promised to roll back Biden-era climate regulations and green energy incentives in favor of oil rigs and pipelines. Offshore wind farms? Out the door. The Paris Climate Agreement? We’ll see you never.
The real pièce de résistance here is the vow to halve energy costs within a year. By turning the U.S. into an oil-drilling powerhouse, Trump plans to bring those gas prices down. The question is, of course, whether our planet has anything left in the tank to keep up with this fossil-fueled ambition. While supporters of this plan are cheering “drill, baby, drill,” environmentalists and climate scientists are putting out their own version of the alarm.
Peace Treaty in 24 Hours: The Art of the War Deal
Now, the Ukraine-Russia situation: Trump’s solution here is a whirlwind negotiation with a 24-hour turnaround. The plan, as pitched, is to get Russia and Ukraine at the table and hammer out peace before the ink dries on the inaugural documents. It’s a grand vision, with Trump implying that his sheer presence in office could make even Putin take a backseat.
Of course, with U.S. military aid likely on the chopping block, Trump’s negotiation strategy isn’t so much carrot and stick as it is stick, stick, and maybe a little side-eye. It’s clear that an America-first policy on Ukraine will involve new costs and new directions, even if it means turning world politics into a diplomatic speed-date session.
Iran Sanctions, Round Two
Finally, let’s talk sanctions – specifically on Iran. Trump’s plan is to reinstate tough sanctions on Iran as a way of curbing its nuclear ambitions. As always, the strategy is simple: cut off the cash flow, and hope for the best.
But history is a tough teacher. Trump’s 2019 sanctions didn’t quite dismantle Iran’s nuclear program; if anything, they might’ve encouraged a work-around mentality. This time, the goal is “very tough sanctions,” but if the past is any indicator, Iran is likely to keep toeing the line.
The new Trump term is shaping up to be a policy whirlwind, with executive orders flying like confetti on the 20th. Whether it’s reversing climate policy, restructuring immigration enforcement, or pressing for a speedy peace deal in Ukraine, it’s clear that Trump’s “day one” is going to be a very busy day indeed – just make sure you’re buckled in.
