In a bold move befitting a reality TV show, Donald Trump is back with cabinet picks that could double as a lineup for WrestleMania. Former WWE CEO Linda McMahon and TV’s Dr. Oz are stepping into new rings — education and healthcare, respectively. Let’s break down this star-studded policy spectacle with the sarcasm it so richly deserves.
Linda McMahon: From Body Slams to Book Slams?
Linda McMahon, former WWE CEO and co-founder, is Trump’s choice for Secretary of Education. Yes, the woman who brought us steel cage matches and The Undertaker is now tasked with wrestling down the complexities of American education.
A longtime Trump ally and hefty campaign donor, McMahon brings to the table… minimal education experience. Her resume includes a brief stint on Connecticut’s state board of education (which lasted less than two years) and a knack for choreographed drama. It’s unclear if the latter skill will help her tackle the Department of Education, which Trump has promised to dismantle. McMahon’s job might not be to fix the system but to shut it down entirely, turning education policy into a political Royal Rumble.
In announcing her nomination, Trump declared on Truth Social, “Linda has been a fierce advocate for parents’ rights!” Translation: She’ll take up the Republican banner of fighting “woke” agendas in schools. Whether she’ll tag-team the lawsuits dogging her WWE past is another story. Allegations of negligence in a WWE scandal involving abuse claims haven’t stopped her from climbing back into the political ring.
Dr. Oz: Miracle Cures Meet Medicaid Management
Meanwhile, Mehmet Oz, aka TV’s “Dr. Oz,” has been tapped to oversee the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS). You know, the agency responsible for the healthcare of over 150 million Americans and a $1.4 trillion budget. Surely the guy who hawked green coffee extract as a weight-loss miracle is perfect for the job.
Dr. Oz, who once tried to peddle hydroxychloroquine as a Covid-19 cure, has faced backlash for promoting dubious medical advice on his show. Yet, Trump calls him a perfect fit to “make America healthy again.” Critics might argue Oz’s tenure will do wonders — for homeopathic remedy sales, at least.
During Senate hearings in 2014, Oz defended his endorsements of unproven diet pills, claiming he never sold products directly. But let’s not forget the financial disclosures from his failed Senate run in Pennsylvania, which revealed ties to healthcare companies. Clearly, no one knows the illness industrial complex better than someone who’s dabbled in it.
The Loyalty Olympics
Both picks underscore a clear theme: loyalty trumps qualifications. McMahon and Oz were chosen not for their expertise but for their unwavering support of Trump. Howard Lutnick, Trump’s nominee for commerce secretary, rounds out this loyalty Olympics, making it clear that this cabinet isn’t about governance but about fealty.
What’s Next?
With the Republican-majority Senate likely to confirm these picks, get ready for a cabinet where credentials take a backseat to charisma. Expect plenty of headlines, maybe even some folding chairs thrown into the policy mix. After all, governing is just another form of entertainment, right?
For now, we’ll sit back, grab some popcorn, and watch the unfolding spectacle — equal parts political drama and reality TV rerun.
